So, here's the thing...

Before I get into everything I just want to say... this whole process to better health and ultimately healing my Crohn's is just that, a process. It's not an easy process. There are good days and there are bad days and through everything I am learning and evaluating and praying. So, when it seems like one thing is great and will be the answer, something happens or things change and we move in a different direction, and it's ok. Because ultimately it's all done to find the best way to treat this disease. And, maybe there isn't a "best" way, maybe there's a few...

All that to say, I'll cut to the chase, the diet... well it didn't work out. Now before you think it was too hard and I quit or I'm a hypocrite for everything I said in the previous posts... well, I mean think what you want, it's fine with me, but I have reasons. Hear me out.

I did quit, but it wasn't easy to quit, I'm not one to quit on things easily. I will push through and do all I can to finish something I started. Until it's something that compromises my well being or health. This diet was healthy and well thought out and I still agree with it and would even recommend it... but it isn't for me. I tried for almost 3 days. The nauseated feeling I had day 1... it didn't go away. I didn't want to eat, I couldn't eat, and it came down to not eating because of the nausea or eating something I knew I could stomach... that wasn't on the diet. I chose to eat. A side note, I'm losing weight, too quickly, mainly because I'm not absorbing nutrients and because of not wanting to eat for the fear of how it might affect me. So the thought of eating, even if it wasn't on the diet, was appealing. So I did. unfortunately it didn't sit with me... it was whole grain pasta... I can't do whole grains, they're too hard to digest. But, the next day was a new day and knowing I wasn't constricted to the diet anymore was very relieving.

Now, I didn't go back to eating just anything. I was very cautious and still kept a lot of the same basic principles of the diet in mind. I went to Earth Fare and spent over an hour reading labels and choosing the best possible products of food to best nourish and fill me. I spoke with a naturopathic doctor and learned a lot (more on that some other time). I am evaluating and praying through the best way to move forward.

I will say, everything I said before about making foods from scratch, not buying bagged and processed foods, eating real foods and as much organic as possible, I still believe. However, I have realized there are so many great companies out there making products, that yes may be in a jar or can or box, but have completely whole, real, natural foods in them. It may be only 10 percent of the store that has them, but if it's food I can eat and gain nourishment from I'll try it. Another side note, just because it says it's all natural doesn't mean it's really all natural. Reading labels, I mean really reading them and knowing what you're reading is a big deal.

All of this to say. Jeff and I have talked a lot about foods to eat, diets to consider, programs to follow, and we have decided to, first take it one day at a time, and second make a diet that fits us, personally. These diets found online or in books are good, helpful and have really shaped my thinking about food, but every person is different, everyone's body is different, and we all need to eat what is best for our own body. That's what my goal is. Finding foods that are healthy, nutritious, and helpful... not harmful to my body.

What I've decided so far... and again, things change, so this isn't set in stone.
1. I'm trying a mostly gluten fee diet. When I say mostly I mean 9 times out of 10 I'll try to choose gluten free but I'm not going to stress if I can't.
2. I'm trying a mostly sugar free diet. Again, it isn't always possible. But I'm trying to find products and recipes that have natural sweeteners like honey, instead of refined sugars or even "natural" sugars.
3. I'm staying flexible. The problem with the diet for me is it wasn't flexible and it ended up stressing me out. I am going to try everything in my power to eat the best I can but if it's not possible 100 percent of the time it's ok.

Wow, I just unloaded a lot. Mainly for my own processing and reflection but also hopefully someone can find encouragement from this... in some way.

For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
 -Psalm 139:13-14

Day 1...

On paper this all sounds simple and motivating. Then when you actually commit to it and do it... that's where it gets tricky. Day one went ok. I mean the food we ate was "by the book" it was healthy, homemade, and for the most part tasty. But for some reason I couldn't kick the feeling of being nauseated when I thought about what I ate. I know that sounds so weird and bizarre. It's weird to me too. I can't really explain it. So, that's the tricky part, getting past that feeling and enjoying the food. It's good food!

The other tricky part is the constant, overbearing thought of food. I think about it all the time... what do we eat tomorrow? What can we even eat? Will I even want to eat? Does that have added sugar? The questions can go on and on. I woke up this morning feeling very overwhelmed. Just thinking about breakfast made me anxious. This all probably sounds silly too, but an average day for me is a bowl of cereal and then whatever I can find in the house for lunch, that's quick, since Ella's eating too and she needs food. So to have to think through every single meal can be daunting. But, like my last post, I need to listen to the words in Proverbs and rise early, prepare food, be organized about it all... it just takes discipline. And much, much prayer.

I found myself crying out to God for peace, strength, wisdom, and overall guidance in all of this. When you feel overwhelmed and anxious and hungry it's hard to think straight. And, the wonderful thing about God is He gave me peace, He always gives me peace, because He is faithful. He reminded me of that so many times just this morning, through emails, conversations, and His Word... in Matthew 6:25-26
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 

I am valued by God, my Creator, I am loved, protected, and cared for, even when it comes to food. I have nothing to worry about for God will provide, He always provides. So I rest in His goodness and trust in who He is.

So, here we go... the run-down of what we ate yesterday. As a quick guide to this diet, in the first phase, you can eat meat, poultry, fish, goat's milk cheese, vegetables (no starchy ones), almonds, lemons, limes, and berries, and honey... no grains what-so-ever. There are other things too but those are the main ones.

Breakfast: Almond flour biscuits and scrambled eggs- this was very filling, when baking with almond flour things turn out pretty dense. It's hard for me to stomach sometimes... hence the nauseated feeling.

Lunch: Salad with cucumbers, tomatoes, and shredded chicken and a homemade dressing

Snack: Strawberries, blueberries, and raspberries

Dinner: Grilled chicken with broccoli and zucchini sauted in thyme and a little balsamic vinegar

Snack: Blueberry muffins... made with coconut flour

Like I said before, for some reason I was feeling queasy just thinking about the food I ate... so weird I know. But then I look at the cutest baby in the world in a summer outfit, capris and all (my new favorite thing on babies) and everything is all better. :)

I promised a post with pictures, no one said they had to be all food ones! I can't get enough of her and her personality, and I could stare at those blue eyes all day... well I pretty much do.

  

Proverbs 31 and Crohn's Part 2

So, as of the last post we now all know what the problem is and what the hopeful solution is to that problem...

Now, about Proverbs 31. The woman in this chapter is remarkably beautiful, hard-working, generous, kind, passionate, and full of love. I want to be that woman. And when it comes to how it relates to my Crohn's, well it really relates to everything in life... and right now it specifically relates to how I am going to do this 'diet.' 

There is a lot of convenience now-a-days with the food we eat. You're hungry grab a Snickers, you have a hankering for sweets, grab a scoop of ice cream... a big scoop, you crave salty, open up a bag of potato chips and have at it. Easy.Simple.No thought. at.all. So, to do a diet that means no packaged, processed, or bagged anything I need to be creative, and I need to be disciplined. And to do a diet that requires fresh, organic, real food, I need to be on top of meal planning and preparing food, for every meal. 

All of this is good and honestly it's how it should be, I believe it's how God intended it to be. But, I'm not gonna lie... it's hard. I'm a born and raised American who likes things quick and my way, right away. That just doesn't sound right though... does it? And it certainly doesn't sound like the woman so eloquently pictured in Proverbs 31.

I love every verse of this chapter starting in verse 10. And I would encourage you to read it... but I want to point out a few verses that really stuck out to me, in other words, verses that God convicted me with, as in, do you see what that's saying? listen, I'm talking to you...
Verse 13- ...And willingly works with her hands.  
 I love that it says willingly... that's the convicting part. I want to wholeheartedly, completely, joyously do all I need to do for my family and home... willingly. 

Verse 14- She is like the merchant ships, she brings her food from afar. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household

"rises while it is yet night"... so confession, I'm not a morning person. I want to be but it doesn't come easy. I do have to say that after having a baby and waking up at any time you have to for your child, it did get a little easier. But I need to heed those words. To rise before my family and provide them with food... simply put, make sure my husband leaves the house with a full belly and not a handful of cinnamon swirl bread and a granola bar.

Verse 27- She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness

That's a big one... idleness. It's easy to say, especially when talking to other women, "Oh, I was so busy too, I just have so much to do during the day." And in the back of my mind thinking back to how I perused a few blogs, looked up a bunch of random stuff, spent a little extra time in bed before getting up. Yeah, that one hurts. 

When it comes down to it the most important role and job this woman had was to her Maker and Savior,  

"Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." vs.30

So, in a nut shell with my Crohn's and in everything, I am trying. Well, I am praying, that God would strengthen me, direct me, and help me as I aspire to be not only a woman who's children call her blessed, who's husband praises her, but a woman who God tells, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

Tomorrow... how day one of The Maker's Diet went... did we survive? Dun, dun, dun!!! (hopefully that one will have pictures... posts are so much better with pretty pictures)