So, here's the thing...

Before I get into everything I just want to say... this whole process to better health and ultimately healing my Crohn's is just that, a process. It's not an easy process. There are good days and there are bad days and through everything I am learning and evaluating and praying. So, when it seems like one thing is great and will be the answer, something happens or things change and we move in a different direction, and it's ok. Because ultimately it's all done to find the best way to treat this disease. And, maybe there isn't a "best" way, maybe there's a few...

All that to say, I'll cut to the chase, the diet... well it didn't work out. Now before you think it was too hard and I quit or I'm a hypocrite for everything I said in the previous posts... well, I mean think what you want, it's fine with me, but I have reasons. Hear me out.

I did quit, but it wasn't easy to quit, I'm not one to quit on things easily. I will push through and do all I can to finish something I started. Until it's something that compromises my well being or health. This diet was healthy and well thought out and I still agree with it and would even recommend it... but it isn't for me. I tried for almost 3 days. The nauseated feeling I had day 1... it didn't go away. I didn't want to eat, I couldn't eat, and it came down to not eating because of the nausea or eating something I knew I could stomach... that wasn't on the diet. I chose to eat. A side note, I'm losing weight, too quickly, mainly because I'm not absorbing nutrients and because of not wanting to eat for the fear of how it might affect me. So the thought of eating, even if it wasn't on the diet, was appealing. So I did. unfortunately it didn't sit with me... it was whole grain pasta... I can't do whole grains, they're too hard to digest. But, the next day was a new day and knowing I wasn't constricted to the diet anymore was very relieving.

Now, I didn't go back to eating just anything. I was very cautious and still kept a lot of the same basic principles of the diet in mind. I went to Earth Fare and spent over an hour reading labels and choosing the best possible products of food to best nourish and fill me. I spoke with a naturopathic doctor and learned a lot (more on that some other time). I am evaluating and praying through the best way to move forward.

I will say, everything I said before about making foods from scratch, not buying bagged and processed foods, eating real foods and as much organic as possible, I still believe. However, I have realized there are so many great companies out there making products, that yes may be in a jar or can or box, but have completely whole, real, natural foods in them. It may be only 10 percent of the store that has them, but if it's food I can eat and gain nourishment from I'll try it. Another side note, just because it says it's all natural doesn't mean it's really all natural. Reading labels, I mean really reading them and knowing what you're reading is a big deal.

All of this to say. Jeff and I have talked a lot about foods to eat, diets to consider, programs to follow, and we have decided to, first take it one day at a time, and second make a diet that fits us, personally. These diets found online or in books are good, helpful and have really shaped my thinking about food, but every person is different, everyone's body is different, and we all need to eat what is best for our own body. That's what my goal is. Finding foods that are healthy, nutritious, and helpful... not harmful to my body.

What I've decided so far... and again, things change, so this isn't set in stone.
1. I'm trying a mostly gluten fee diet. When I say mostly I mean 9 times out of 10 I'll try to choose gluten free but I'm not going to stress if I can't.
2. I'm trying a mostly sugar free diet. Again, it isn't always possible. But I'm trying to find products and recipes that have natural sweeteners like honey, instead of refined sugars or even "natural" sugars.
3. I'm staying flexible. The problem with the diet for me is it wasn't flexible and it ended up stressing me out. I am going to try everything in my power to eat the best I can but if it's not possible 100 percent of the time it's ok.

Wow, I just unloaded a lot. Mainly for my own processing and reflection but also hopefully someone can find encouragement from this... in some way.

For you formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.
 -Psalm 139:13-14